– Wake up at 6:00. Toss and turn just enough to wake up my husband. Realize it is 6:00. Go back to sleep.
– Wake up again at 6:50 when my husband’s alarm goes off. Watch my husband get up. Some mornings, watch my husband turn off the alarm and get back in bed. Assess the weather out the window. Pick up my iPhone to see if anything exciting has happened while I was sleeping (exciting being defined as having received an acceptance or rejection for a story). Stay in bed another fifteen minutes.
– Wonder if it is going to rain today. Hope it will rain today. Rain is almost always preferable.
– Get up and cycle through some guilt about whether I should walk first thing in the morning. Whether I should go to the community garden and weed. Decide these decisions are best made after a cup of tea.
– Make a cup of tea.
– Check Twitter. Check Facebook. Check Google mail. Check Submittable. Count the number of submissions that are “In Progress.” Wonder again for the hundredth time exactly what that means. Check Recent Responses on Duotrope. Repeat several times.
– Put on some clothes that do not preclude the potential that I might still walk or weed.
– Check Twitter. Check Facebook. Check Google mail. Check Submittable. Add in Tumblr this time, just for kicks.
– DO NOT CHECK COLLEGE E-MAIL. Nothing good ever happens there.
– Stare at cats for several minutes and contemplate again that if I could just write about cats, everything would be perfect.
– Sip tea. Stare at computer screen. Wait for something inspiring to happen.
– Go out back. Check whether the cilantro and dill are up. Pinch the heads off the basil. Observe the grubs cavorting on the radishes.
– Come back inside. Stand forlornly next to husband, who appears to be happily typing away on his keyboard. Curse his general cheer and productivity.
– Really, it’s not too late to go weed.
– Sit down and stare at the computer again.
– Check Twitter. Check Submittable. Check Duotrope.
– In a fit of complete desperate procrastination, check college e-mail. Despair.
– Stare at cats.
– Stare at husband.
– Write a stupid blog entry about your morning ritual.